Willpower

There's a fine line between not having enough willpower to live a healthy lifestyle and not having enough willpower to live.

Street Dancers

Okay, you guys do your routine and I'll just walk with a deliberate swagger.  It'll be cooler than the upside of a freezer.

Space Heater

I recently removed a decent amount of dust that had accumulated between my heatsink and my cpu.  Good lord my roommates and I were on a tropical holiday before that.

Gender Roles

They can only have it back if they bury 100 1950s dollars worth of gold under my current address.

Disposable Income

To be fair bloons tower defense 5 is the benchmark when it comes to cpu performance.  I generally crash around round 90.

Women Are Like Legos

I don't even bother searching for the piece I need. I'll just look for some inconsequential piece until the one I need shows up.  Similarly never actively pursue the woman of your dreams.  Pursue her less desirable counterparts until you stumble upon her.  Literally nothing will go wrong.

Hunting

Theoretically if you eat enough carrots you will turn orange thus becoming invisible to deer.

Equal Rights For All

In the respect that 0 = 0.