Willpower

There's a fine line between not having enough willpower to live a healthy lifestyle and not having enough willpower to live.

Street Dancers

Okay, you guys do your routine and I'll just walk with a deliberate swagger.  It'll be cooler than the upside of a freezer.

Space Heater

I recently removed a decent amount of dust that had accumulated between my heatsink and my cpu.  Good lord my roommates and I were on a tropical holiday before that.

Gender Roles

They can only have it back if they bury 100 1950s dollars worth of gold under my current address.

Disposable Income

To be fair bloons tower defense 5 is the benchmark when it comes to cpu performance.  I generally crash around round 90.

Women Are Like Legos

I don't even bother searching for the piece I need. I'll just look for some inconsequential piece until the one I need shows up.  Similarly never actively pursue the woman of your dreams.  Pursue her less desirable counterparts until you stumble upon her.  Literally nothing will go wrong.

Hunting

Theoretically if you eat enough carrots you will turn orange thus becoming invisible to deer.

Equal Rights For All

In the respect that 0 = 0.

Ink Budget

Back when I worked at a nursing home in high school my bosses primary job was to create a steady incoming flow of informational and motivational 8 1/2 by 11 inch posters.  Well done boss.

WH33L

I often blamed others for  putting me in these situations but most of the time it can be attributed to my own obliviousness.  "Oh hey.  You two off to a movie?  I've always wanted to see that movie; why don't I tag along, and sit in between you two."

Coffee

I never developed a taste for coffee.  Decaf still remains a mystery to me.

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Special thanks to Bobby

Salsa Device

Some people are too practical for their own good.

Salsa

Obviously the graph hits an asymptote when one factor has virtually run out before the other.  I can keep covering my hand in queso dip because I'm dipping microscopic pinpoints of tostitos into the jar, but that delicious, spicy cheese goop ain't going down no further.

Chicken or Egg

For the amount of time I spent pondering this as a middle school student very few people were impressed by my conclusion.

Programs

I had no idea what was going to happen here.  I wanted to convey my distaste for programs at musical events and this is what happened. Also how do you make flames with calligraphy. I don't even...

The Honey Store Part 2

Ideally every additional press would shorten the waiting period by 1 second.  That would be RAD!

Sobriety

I always worry that I'll offend someone by not drinking.  I swear I don't see sobriety as a high horse.

Bored

My parents used to pull this on me all the time.  Well after 10 years I've come up with a retort.

The Honey Store

Discounted jackets are the best things ever.  I have three.

Bing it on part 2

Sun Tea

I tried this this my freshman year.  There was this leaf that grew outside my window that is used in making Earl Grey.  Naturally I picked some and threw it in the jar.  Not once did it occur to me to actually wash the leaves until I saw dirt floating around in the jar.  A couple weeks later I abandoned the jar at an Amish bakery and I haven't heard of it since.

Furthermore it seems that some of the really cool blur patterns that I was using on inkscape didn't survive the conversion to .png or the saving process or something.  My most sincere apologies.  I am still somewhat inept when it comes to manipulating image formats.

The bing it on challenge.

Those results weren't taken verbatim from the lineup but I think I pretty much captured the essence.

Pickpockets Part 2

You're still lose the money but man you should see their faces... I sure haven't.

Pickpockets part 1

I only ever went to New Orleans once.  That was way back in high school.  I noticed three booming businesses: Fedoras, wallets, and "authentic" voodoo trinkets.

Password Recovery Woes Part 2

I'm pretty sure this isn't a valid email address.  Then again I never checked.

Password Recovery Woes

I've never had this problem. Nor do I know anyone who has.

Quote Lists

Sorry for taking a 3 day break I was in "remote" cabin in Michigan for the weekend.  While there half of the things I said were compiled into a list.  I feel that the best way to express my distaste for this practice is passive aggressively via blog.

Meanwhile in an alternate universe.

Alarm clock woes

I recently received some criticism when some of my friends found out I would set my alarm for 4:00 A.M. on a school night and hit snooze until 7:00.

Teenage boys

So much for ever showing this blog to my grandparents.

9/11

The first time I did this everyone laughed.

9x13

I worked in the kitchen in a nursing home back in high school.  This didn't happen as much as I wish it did, but it happened.

Herald post

So as of late I have been reading a lot of cartoons and I just discovered that ms Paint has a calligraphy pen option so I whipped this out in a bible class and fine tuned it with Microsoft's complimentary calligraphizer.